Spring fever hits

Spring fever has definitely hit my middle school bunch. It seems as though everything that we've been doing, routines and otherwise, have gone out the window and are now just not working. But yesterday, I had enough. I decided to totally revamp one of my two 7th grade classes. We now have new class rules and a whole new schedule. It was pretty drastic, but so needed! Today was the first day of this new schedule and it worked like a charm. The kids huffed a little bit, but overall it was a success. You know it's bad when one of your students comes up after a bad class and says, “You know what Miss Campbell, just be mean. Don't be nice, we're out of control.” So thanks to my 7th grade helper, we changed things up.

I think it's just gotten to the point where they're really comfortable. Don't get me wrong, comfort is a good thing, but not when they feel like there is no structure and they can do whatever they want. I guess these kind of times are really stretching me as a teacher. I'm having to adjust and react accordingly. They say the first year of teaching is the hardest...well, they're right. I have a whole notebook full of things I want to implement next year. I'm excited for another year and another chance to see what God can do through me.

I've been fighting, and still kind of am fighting this whole becoming a teacher thing. I guess for so long, I've been so against it that old habits do in fact, die hard. I have a lot of stereotypes in my head and I just need to realize teaching isn't what I've always imagined it would be. I'm getting an opportunity to help shape people's lives—a chance to form lasting and enduring relationships.

One of my 7th grade girls has been really struggling lately with life in general. I feel so possessive and connected to them that seeing her struggle hurts me. I don't even know what's going on exactly, but the little I do know, I just want to fix. It's a hard lesson to learn, that I can't just come in and fix their lives because I care. It's hard to watch people I care about go through some pretty crappy things. But I guess it put's me in my place—I don't really have control of anything. It's a constant reminder that God is the one who is in charge and in control of my life. I fight so hard, just like I've been fighting against this teaching thing, to do things myself. When will I learn? I guess it comes with many upon many failures.