1 Corinthians 4:7

With everything that has happened in the last week God has really been opening my eyes turning my world upside down. Working in the inner city, there is always that risk, the unknown, in that we don't know for sure how much time we have with these kids. And God has just been pushing me to live in the moment. How many times in my day do I say, oh well in a few hours I can go home and watch a movie, or hey this weekend I get to sleep in. The answer, more times than I'd like to admit. And although I love my kids, I miss the little moments with them. It's a constant struggle not to allow my work to become just a job, or just a routine. Because, like I said, we don't know how much time we have.

At church last night, I listened to a sermon on 1 Corinthians 4. The pastor talked about submission to authority and although he was talking specifically about the church submitting to appointed elders and whatnot, his ideas and understandings really spoke to me. We all have authority whether we like to admit it or not. I for one struggle with authority. I don't like being told what to do, in fact, I get all huffy when I am. But God really spoke to me in 1 Corinthians 4:7-"For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?" In my head I see the work I do from my perspective. I see me being the one who is working from 7-7, I see myself being the one exhausted, the one who, as cocky as it is and as prideful, the one who is making the difference for people. And I think that's why last week was so hard on me. I started asking questions like: Am I really making a difference? What could I have done or said differntly to him? Did he know he was loved? Did I do all I could? But God humbled me in saying, you know what Brittany, yeah I'm using you to be in these kids' lives, but I gave that to you. You're not doing anything...I'm the one who is working. I realized I'm not the one in control. I can't make a kid come to know God, I can't change a parent's ways of thinking, I can't control anything. God is that authority and like 1 Corinthians 4:7 said, who am I to think I'm making a difference all on my own.