A New Start with Energy

There have been some rather, shall I say, interesting changes this past week. At after-school we got a new site supervisor. He isn’t “new” new; I worked with him last summer as an intern at BEACH (my site). So things in that realm have been shaken up a bit. We are starting fresh. I feel like we have a foundation now where we can truly focus on the goals of the after-school program. During one of our first meetings, he presented this new opportunity as a “cooperative” effort; meaning, yes, he will be the supervisor by title, but we will all carry our load and split it. I love this idea; first off, it gives us so much room to communicate ideas without stepping on people’s toes or unintentionally undermining. Three staff members run the BEACH after-school program. And during this meeting, he was very transparent about his expectations, his fears, and his desire for this to be something great. To be honest, I walked out of the meeting with such good energy that I was excited to do all the revamping work and planning. I want the program to be all it can be. But, I do know that there needs to be some work put into that as well. We are having our first end-of-the-week meeting tomorrow to discuss the week and assess what we want to improve. Together I feel like we have so many ideas!

A typical after-school program week goes something like this. On Mondays, we have dinner, homework/tutoring time, reading/journaling club, then Bible. Everyday is the same with the exception of the club time and who leads Bible time. Tuesdays we have music where the kids get to either do drum circles or learn songs for the family nights coming up in October. So far, the Wednesday options have consisted of friendship bracelets, legos/paper airplanes, and cooking. And Thursdays have been science days. This is a great foundation and I feel like it lets the kids look forward to certain activities as well as gives them variety, but I feel like it’s only a foundation. So much more could be done for it to be “amazing.” SPLAT is what the program is called and it stands for spiritual, physical, learning, arts, tutoring. So everything we do, we try to incorporate into these categories. Soon we are going to try and have a weekly verse the kids will learn that will hopefully help them learn God’s Word, but also become more familiar with the Bible.

I feel like I’m slowly getting to know my kids better with these changes as well. I feel like I’m able to have more fun with them and learn about where they’re at as well as what I can do to be there for them.

Today was a science day and we made slime with the kids. It was definitely one of the better days. Each kid got a pencil box and we made the slime out of glue, water, food coloring, and borax powder. They all ended up taking theirs home.

Monday the younger kids get to go to the Children’s Museum for a friendly haunted house while the older kids are going to stay back. My co-worker and I decided to have a fun day with the kids as well. We are going to try and have different Halloween stations for the kids. One I would love to do would be to give each kid a mini pumpkin and have them paint faces or designs on them, while the other would be a room with a giant spider web in which they had to find their way out by following the ropes to get a prize. 

I have my moments where I’m not sure why I’m doing what I’m doing because I’m too tired or too stressed, but the little moments where I find myself smiling and laughing with the kids while our hands are immersed in the slimiest goo and the tables are stained with food coloring, make it all worth it!

I’ve been struggling a bit lately with thinking about what the future holds and where I’m going to be after this year but good times like this really make me slow down and appreciate what I’m doing now. The future has always been daunting and maybe because it’s the first time in my life that I don’t have a plan, that I’m somewhat freaking out, I don’t know. A part of me just wants something long term to work on, don’t get me wrong, not for the lack of things to do or prepare. I just feel like I’ve always had some project going on whether it just be a paper due or the intent on graduating undergrad. Now it’s just me. I’m here working with these kids and I feel like I’m just standing in front of God saying, Ok God, what’s next. How do you want to use me? It’s a scary thing. But I’ve been amazed at where he’s brought me in just a year. I’ve been reading a through Proverbs lately and the whole pull between the world and God has really touched home. And maybe not even worldly things, but definitely a pull between being still and obedient to what God wants versus what I want. I guess it’s just one of those typical just-graduated-and-don’t-know-what-to-do-now phases. I just want to make sure I have drive and purpose in what I’m doing with my life! I don’t want to loose sight of that in the mix of stress and juggling so many things on my plate. J

Psalm 6:4—Turn, O Lord, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.   

Learning while teaching

I’m going to lie; the end of last week and the beginning of this week have been hard. I don’t know what it is, but attitude is starting to take over. Being here now for a while, I’ve become somewhat accustomed to dealing with attitude, so that’s not the problem. But something about constantly getting onto kids can bring a person down. I don’t want it to get to the point where I’m waking up every morning anticipating how I’m going to “crack down” on my kids.

Take today for instance. I teach a middle school English section. We’re reading a book that requires us to read some in class as well as some at home. And I remember how irritated I used to get at homework. It wasn’t that long ago I was up till all hours of the night working away, so I know when too much is too much. So let me say this first…I don’t give that much homework. I don’t give busy work either. So far it’s been one chapter and they have two days to complete it. So, it being Tuesday, they had Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday night to read this one chapter, which consists of 7 pages. Did anyone read it? One person. One girl, read the chapter and filled out her summary worksheet. One person. This has happened before, so it wasn’t that I was surprised this could happen, I just had hope I guess. I had planned this collage/art activity that tied into the novel and I was already to break it to them that we didn’t have to read and we wouldn’t have homework…but, no one read. So, what did we do? We read all period to catch up. And did we? Nope, they still have homework. I felt a bit harsh, but to be honest, I was kind of mad. I feel like a big kid sometimes in that, I plan things for both them and the “educational” side of things, but I also plan it for me. I want to have fun too. Why not make it a team effort. I know I don’t have any teaching training, but I feel like I have a good balance on material they need to know and how to incorporate it into something constructive and enticing. I guess I’m still working to figure out how to get them all into what I’m teaching.

It’s interesting because the classroom dynamics are so different from summer camp. For one thing, in camp they could call me Miss Brit, or Miss Brit-Brat which caught on a bit more than I would have liked it to J In camp I could be that mentor type person to the kids. I could hear them out, help them in what they needed, lead activities, but also joke around and give them a hard time. In the class room, I’m Miss Campbell. This I never thought I’d hear. It’s been a month now since school started, and I’m still not used to it. I have some kids in my class that I used to have in camp who are so accustomed to calling me Miss Brit that it slips every once and a while and I have to get onto them. I keep saying, “its as weird for you as it is for me.”

I like the creativity and freedom I’ve been given in my job. As long as I cover some basic elements, I can teach whatever I want. But I’ve come to realize, I have to have boundaries being a teacher. I can’t joke around with them as much as I’m used to doing. I’ve got to be more to them than just a friend. In this role, friendship is almost secondary. And this is hard for me. I want to build relationships; I guess I just am learning a new way.

Still Awe-able, yes, yes I am...

You always hear people’s claims for the best. I have the best recipe for chili, I have the best restaurant you’ll have to try, or, in my case, I know where the best firework show is. So over my long-weekend my roommates and I traveled to Cincinnati to witness, what one of my roommates claimed to be, the best firework display ever. It was about an hour and a half drive from Indy to Cinci, but with a little bit of music, dj-ed by myself, of course, it wasn’t all that bad.


The fireworks were on Sunday night but man were they a big deal. We pulled in on Saturday afternoon and already people had tarps down, and areas reserved. The show was along the Ohio River, so people sat on the Kentucky side and the Ohio side while the fireworks were shot off from the bridges and barges. In my mind, and I’m sure I let it slip, I thought these people were insane. Who would go to this much work for fireworks?! We sat for about 3 hours waiting for them to begin. People had games, cards, I mean the works, waiting for this show. But when it finally did start, oh my goodness was I in awe. We were less than a football field away from them and you could feel the boom in your chest and the sparks lit up your eyes like it was daylight. They were magnificent. We sat between two bridges and they shot from both into the middle and up into the sky. They were massive, and diverse. There were the classic, but also lantern style, and twirlers, and cannon-ball like fireworks. Not only this, but it didn’t just end in ten minutes, no it went on for half an hour ending with their sponsors-names in a firework in the sky. It was by far, the BEST display of fireworks I have ever witnessed in my life. It was well worth the crowd, the 45 minute wait to get out of the parking garage and the occasional rude person.

So this got me thinking. Before Sunday night, I thought I had witnessed all that fireworks could offer. I assumed that with age came the inevitable numbness to things such as these—you’ve seen one show, you’ve seen them all. But boy was I wrong. It wasn’t until that night that in fact, I had seen the best show ever. So what about all those other shows? What about those other nights I walked back to the car in awe at what I had just seen? Does that mean those nights weren’t great? No not at all; it just means that there are still opportunities out there. There are still things that can shock and awe me beyond what I already know.

This past week I’ve come to notice I don’t have a good TAWG (time alone with God). I don’t make it a priority every day to sit down and really get into the Word. Not that in my head, I don’t justify my every action. Why? I couldn’t tell you. I have no excuse accept for utter laziness and lack of desire. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t want to read my Bible or pray, in fact, if I could I would take a full day and just do my own study. This past week someone asked me what I believe about Jesus. I could answer, so that’s good, but my answers were all Sunday-school/church answers. You know what I’m talking about, those kind of answers kids give when they’re not really listening to you. Jesus. God. The Bible. Noah. But it got me thinking about what I actually know about Jesus. I know enough to give someone a rough sketch but I teach wanting kids to know so much more. It just made me realize how much I don’t know. How much I want to know. And how much I really just need to dig deep into the Word. Every once and a while I get this desire to really dig deep and I feel like I’m hitting one of those times; a time where I just want to stop and draw close.

This week I’ve read Isaiah 61:1-4 over and over again. Imagine Jesus, in his prime, standing before the temple, picking up a prophesizing scroll and reading:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God to comfort all who mourn, to grant those who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins, they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

Now imagine him setting the scroll down and saying, “hey this is me. I am here!” I thought I knew who Jesus was. For some naïve reason I thought, no I assumed, I knew it all. But after reading this and remembering how stressed I’ve been lately, how much regret I have for things I’ve done to the people I love, I realized I don’t. I don’t know Jesus as well as I thought. These verses hit me. This is Jesus in a nutshell. He brings hope, he fixes broken hearts, he sets people free from everything and anything, he comforts, he rebuilds people, and so much more.

For me, these verses, these short four verses were like the Cinci fireworks. I thought I’d read touching verses, I thought I knew “Jesus,” but now I’m again in utter awe. So my challenge for myself is this: to get back into the Word. I want to give my kids more than “church” answers. I want to know more than “church” answers.