My little buddy...

How do you react if someone you love is hurt? If someone you love is taken away? If someone you’ve come to see grow and progress, dies? Are you angry? If so, with who? With the person who was responsible—and if that’s the case, then how do you pinpoint that? So many things contribute to a single situation. Do you blame yourself for not being there? For not protecting them? Do you get angry at God?

I’ve asked myself all these things at some point or another during the past couple of days. One of my kids I’ve worked with now for a few years was killed on Sunday night. It was a horrible way to die and even more horrible that he was only seven. I can’t say I’ve had a lot of experience with losing people in my life, but it’s ten times worse when its someone so small, so innocent, so in need of love and protection. I remember growing up, when bad things happened, I used to get mad at the world—I was the one who was wrong, the one who got screwed, why was this happening to me? I still find myself asking these questions every once and a while but I’ve also come to know that God can use my mistakes or my hurt and pain for His glory.

In mourning for the loss of my little buddy, as much as it hurts, as much as I just want to stop crying, stop seeing his little face, stop feeling sorry or guilty, I know deep down, God will use this.

He was such a loving kid. He would follow his brothers, who cared for him like he was there, to the ends of the earth. He loved to color, to dance, and he wanted to be a soccer player. I remember he would come in, run up behind me, and give me the biggest hugs. He was my little buddy and he would be the first one to let anyone know that. “Hey, you, that’s my buddy,” he’d say.

So why’d this happen? What’s wrong with a world who takes away such an innocent life, which has just begun to live? Why is there more news about shootings and killings every day than about people building each other up? Why aren’t kids safe in their homes—safe with the people they love?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. I can’t begin to think of a justification for our world—or a reason why people do the things they do. But stuff like this, stuff that cuts deep, that penetrates me soul and every fiber of being—this kind of thing pushes me to work harder. I want to value every minute I have with the kids I’m able to work with. Because, who knows what tomorrow brings? Who knows how much time we have to influence and share love with the ones we have?

To me this just shows how important the work I’m doing really is. It prioritizes me life.

So today I pray for my little buddy’s family. I pray for all of those who have lost someone. I pray that God will use people in their lives to show them His love, to not get discourage or angry. “Let not the needy O Lord be forgotten, nor the hope of many be taken away!”